One of the cruel realities of the world is that the pets we love the most, those who provide us with support and unconditional love, live such short lives.They comfort us, console us, and bring us joy, only to be snatched away far too early.
Regardless of the type of furry companion, those who experience the death of a pet can expect to go through the standard stages of grief.
These stages are (in brief):
- Denial-The inability to face the loss.
- Anger-This rage can be directed inward to the self or outward towards others including fate/God/etc.
- Bargaining-The individual begins to accept the inevitable but seeks to prolong the conclusion.
- Depression-Overwhelmed by the impending loss, the individual retreats into his- or herself, often distancing friends and loved ones.
- Acceptance-The final stage where the individual understands the loss is inevitable.This does not mean that the individual is suddenly happy and carefree, but that the impending loss has been accepted.
It is important to note that not all people will go through all of these stages nor will they progress through them in the same fashion.
The grieving process is a solitary one, unique for each person.It may be short, or it may continue for years. There are times when it will diminish, only to return full force.
There are many emotional triggers which bring back the intense feelings of loss.For some it is returning home and expecting to be greeted at the door.For others it is taking a long walk alone when used to having a pet scampering along.As with any loss, holidays can be difficult times.
When these flare ups of grief occur, try to surround yourself with blessed memories.Also, never feel bad because you are saddened by your loss.Everyone grieves in their own way an in their own time.
There are, however, additional difficulties which can arise when one is grieving the loss of a pet that are not typical for other kinds of loss.These are guilt and lack of sympathy.
One of the hardest things that any pet parent has to face is the decision to let go of their beloved child.Whether the animal is in pain or has become terminally ill, sometimes the best decision one can make is to pray for God to take them home, and remove them from their suffering.This adds an entirely new level of anguish for the pet parent.Not only do they have to deal with the loss of their baby, but also deal with the knowledge that the animal died because of their decisions or actions.
In these cases, it is important to remember that prolonging the life of your ill loved one would have been a selfish act benefiting only the person.By choosing to pray for God, Jesus Christ to take your loved one home is the best way to help end your loved ones’ suffering and placed them beyond pain and anguish.Speaking with like-minded individuals may be of assistance.
The second, more insidious, problem occurs when others fail to recognize the legitimacy of your loss.This reaction is typically from those who do not share their lives with pets and do not understand the strength of the bond which is formed between two beings of different species.
It is quite common to hear things like: “Get over it.” Why are you so attached?Did you have a “weird” relationship with your pet? “It was just a rabbit, cat, dog, or bird, etc.” Some people lose their parents and don’t mourn like that” Just go and get another one.”
These statements are especially hurtful because they not only deny the grieving individual the time they need, the deny the validity of their loss.By implying that one should not be grieving, they are tacitly saying that the connection felt between the pet and the survivor is invalid.This is far from the truth.Anyone who has experienced the unconditional love of an animal knows exactly how close it is possible to be.
It is difficult to not react with anger when encountering this attitude.While the first inclination may be to react by lashing out, keep in mind that only someone who had never experienced the kind of love a pet can provide would say something so patently incorrect.While it is acceptable to be furious at these people, they are also deserving of your pity.These are the same kinds of people who would bully you, relentlessly while you are sick and dying, or have zero compassion when your parent is sick and dying.
There are a number of things one can do to help ease the loss of a pet.Not all of these suggestions will work for all people.Choose those that help you through your grieving process.
- Have a wake. While it is not common to hold funerary services for a pet, there is no reason why you cannot gather a group of people together and share fond memories of the lost one.
Wakes and funerals are excellent ways of dealing with the finality of death.Those who are experiencing the loss are surrounded by those who support them, there is a shift from sadness to happiness by the telling of blessed stories, and they provide a sense of closure.
- Talk to someone.When you are feeling especially down, talk to someone who knew the animal.Share with friends or family.
There are numerous support groups which meet on-line or in person.There are also therapists who specialize in grief counseling for those who have lost pets.
- Create a memorial.This can be anything which will help you remember and recognize the beauty which was brought into your life through the soul of the animal you shared your life with.
Create a photo collage, place a marker in your yard or in a favorite park, donate to a rescue organization.
- Share your life with another animal.Most people who have loved and lost a pet will go on to adopt another. There is no set time which is appropriate to wait.Some adopt a new animal within days, others have to wait for years.Some can never share their lives with a pet again.All of these are perfectly reasonable reactions.What is important to remember is that you are not replacing your lost pet.
Adopting a new animal will not mean that you loved your deceased pet any less. Similarly, a new rabbit/dog/cat/bird/etc. will never be exactly like the pet you lost.Remember to treat the new members of your family as an individual and not constantly compare them to those who have passed.
The final problem, for those who are spiritual, is concern that they will not be reunited with their lost loved ones in the afterlife.While this debate has raged for centuries. Depending upon the religion and the interpretation of religious texts, the answer to whether or not there will be animals in heaven is yes.
My great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ is good and merciful. The KJV Bible states that all animals have souls and will live forever on the new earth. 🙂
SHENITA ETWAROO © All rights reserved.
Posts
