Abuse is
a very real and painful issue which touches the lives of millions around the
world. It leaves what may be called invisible scars on the heart, mind, and
soul and its results may be felt for a very long time after the more visible
injuries have healed. Abuse takes many forms such as physical, emotional,
sexual, or spiritual and no matter what form it takes its effect is
devastating. If you are a victim of abuse and are reading this know that you
are not alone, and that healing is possible through God’s love and guidance.
Understanding Abuse Abuse is never the victims’ fault.
Many survivors live with guilt, shame or
confusion which causes them to think that they in some way brought about or
deserved the abuse. What is true is that abuse is a result of the abusers’
choices not the victims. This is an important first step toward emotional and
spiritual recovery. Physical abuse leaves marks, scars, or chronic pain but
emotional abuse often goes much deeper. Emotional abuse which includes insults,
manipulation, rejection or isolation can ruin self esteem and how we see
ourselves and others.
Sexual
abuse is a breaking of the body and a breach of trust which leaves behind
lasting trauma and feelings of shame. Spiritual abuse which though not as
talked about does exist, breaks faith and leaves the survivor feeling distant
from God or unworthy of His love. God sees all acts of injustice and promises
comfort to the brokenhearted. As it is written in Psalm 34:18 (KJV) “The Lord
is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a
contrite spirit. Even within the midst of the pain, God is with you, holding
out hope for restoration.
The Healing Process
Healing from abuse is not an easy process. It
takes time, patience, and a deliberate process to heal what was broken. Healing
is not forgetting or excusing the abuse. Healing is taking back control of your
life, your mind, and your soul.
1. Emotional Healing
Healing the emotional wounds begins by
acknowledging the pain. Trying to deny the trauma or acting as though the
trauma never occurred only prolongs the pain. It is important to allow yourself
to grieve the loss, whether it be the loss of safety, trust, or innocence.
Talking to a trusted therapist, spiritual leader, or group can help to relieve
the pent-up feelings. Usually, sharing your thoughts and emotional burdens
within a trusted network can help to guide gently towards the right path of
healing.
Another aspect of healing is forgiveness, which
is not for the abuser but for your own healing and release from the burden of
anger. Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV);
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and
clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye
kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for
Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” You
have to understand that letting go of the all hurt and pain you might feel from
the past is your first step towards genuine emotional healing. You liberate
yourself when you forgive and let go of the heavy shackles from your past.
2. Spiritual Healing
The spiritual wounds of abuse often create a
distance between God and the abused individual. You tend to blame God for you
being in a bad place, and this quickly creates a rift between you and your
heavenly father. Re-establishing this
relationship involves the following steps;
·
Prayer: Talk openly with God about your hurt,
anger, confusion, and dreams of healing. Do not hold back on any emotions you
might be feeling at that point. Place it all at his feet and let him do the
rest. God hears all the cries of your heart.
·
Bible
Meditation: “The
Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach
good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to
proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that
are bound.” Isaiah 61:1 (KJV). This is a reminder to the survivor that God is
able to mend the broken life. You need to have the mindset that God is still in
the business of mending the brokenhearted, the weak and weary, and the lost.
·
Faith-Based
Support Groups: Some
people feel encouraged and comforted by sharing experiences with people who
understand trauma from a faith perspective. In a faith-based group, you get to
talk about your struggles, have them sorted, and still get your faith in God
built and nourished over time.
·
Routes of Recovery in Daily
Living
However, recovery is not only spiritual and
emotional. It also involves tangible actions. Survivors need to have safe
environments, set boundaries, and structured routines to ensure their mental
and physical health.
·
Professional
Counseling: Trauma-informed
therapists can provide counseling on ways to cope with the traumatic
experience, work through memories of the traumatic experience, and rebuild
·
Safe Places: In cases where
there is continued abuse or where there is a threat of harm, it is crucial to
obtain a safe place to live.
·
Healthy
Lifestyle Decisions: Eating
well, getting adequate sleep, and staying active can help build resilience.
Hobbies can be another means to relieve stress.
Regaining Trust and
Re-Connecting
Abuse can lead to damaged trust, and it can be
difficult to form new relationships. Healing involves recognizing not all
people will harm you and recognizing the ability for healthy connections.
Relationships should begin slowly and communication of boundaries should occur.
These actions help you heal at your own pace without the fear of having to
relapse into the place of fear, bitterness, and panic in which you were before.
Even trust in others and in God can be restored
through spiritual consolation. The Bible says in Matthew 11:28: “Come unto me,
all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” This promise
brings peace and consolation that God is a refuge in times when trusting others
seems impossible.
Empowerment through Self-
Being subjected to abuse may cause one to feel
powerless, but restoration of strength is part of the healing process. Take
back your life by achieving your personal goals, pursuing your interests, and
growing as a person. Empowerment also comes from recognizing your inherent
worth as a child of God. The following verse in Psalm 139:14 (KJV) is relevant:
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are
thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
Find yourself again, apart from the trauma.
Recognize the progress you are making, no matter how small it may seem. Healing
is not a straight path, but each step is progress nonetheless.
Conquering Fear and Anxiety
This abuse leaves the survivor with fears of
the abuser, the world around them, and even of themselves. God gives the
survivor the strength to conquer these fears. “Fear thou not; for I am with
thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will
help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness,”
says Isaiah 41:10 (KJV).
Prayer, meditation, and support can help
victims overcome their anxiety and confidence levels and learn to live their
lives with hope once again.
Assisting Other People and
Paying It Forward
Many survivors have discovered that helping
others can actually improve their own healing process. This can come in the
form of advocacy work, helping fellow survivors, or being a mentor for those
who are going through abuse. Doing good for others not only helps them but can
also serve to solidify your own healing process.
Hope and Restoration
However, restoration and healing from abuse
take time, but they are possible. God offers restoration for those with broken
hearts, peace for those who are tired, and hope for those who are hopeless. As
Jeremiah 30:17 (KJV) says, “For I will restore health unto thee, and I will
heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast,
saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.”
Hope in the power of a brighter tomorrow. Every
day, work towards your freedom in your emotions, your spirituality, your body.
Trust God to lead you through your pain to illuminate places of darkness.
Conclusion
If you are a victim of abuse, please remember
that your pain is real, your feelings are legitimate, and your life is
precious. You can be healed by the power of God’s love, prayer, community, and
action. You can take this journey towards healing, knowing that God understands
your pain, hears your prayers, and wants to heal your brokenness.
You are not defined by what has happened to
you. You are defined by the love of God. You have the power in the promises of
God. Take heart. Get help. Let God revive your heart, mind, and spirit.
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